I've spent the last however-long-it's-been-since-i-last-updated-thing-thing terrified to even read back over what I last wrote because I cannot stand the fact that I am not still in London.
I love my life in Tacoma- I have amazing, incredible, wouldn't-trade-them-for-the-world friends who surround me with more love and support than I will ever deserve, but it kills me every day that I am not still in London.
The transition back is the hardest thing I have ever gone [and am still going] through.
I spent a lot of time while over there wishing to be back in Tacoma and now I spend every day wishing I was in London.
Life is just a bitch that way.

I thank God every day for Megan, Matthew, Kate, Bryan and Claire. If I had gone on this programme by myself and not had people back home to share things with, I would not have been able to do this. They keep me going and I am so blessed to have them as my friends.

I was continually told that going abroad would change me. But really, I think it's coming back that has changed me the most.

I'm looking at grad schools now and have an overwhelming desire to go South. Because what conquers change better than even more change? Alabama here I come

Change is inevitable, right?

So I have been back in the States for exactly two weeks today.
And the entire time I've had it shoved down my throat how hard it is going to be to come back. How different things are/are going to be. How much I and other people have changed.

At the moment I feel like I am in some sort of strange limbo--nothing really has changed at home. So all of those warnings just seem stupid and like they don't apply to me.
But in three days (!!!) I return to Tacoma and pick back up on my real life. And I know things have changed there. I know people have changed. I know I have changed. But since it's not staring me in the face at the moment, I don't want to acknowledge it.

To be honest, I am terrified to return to school. I left UPS with firm sense of identity there. I knew where I belonged, who my friends were and what I did. And while in London, the first few weeks all I could think about was getting back to that life that I knew and felt so comfortable in. But slowly, London became my life. And now going back to UPS is scaring the shite outa me and all I can think of is returning to London and what became my life there. I saw the same 14 girls (plus matthew) everyday and its weird to be on my own again. Not to mention no longer sharing a room with Meg.

I guess I just don't know wethere I am scared about not fitting back into my life, or too easily slipping back in. Things did change while I was abroad. And I really like the majority of those changes, especially the ones in myself. I don't want to lose that by going back to who I was, as comfortable as that might have been.

Guess we'll just have to wait and see, huh? 3 days and counting....

Out with the old, in with 2009

So I'm not great at this updating thing. Not that this is news to anyone that actually knows me. But, that is one (of many) on the list of resolutions I have made for 2009.

• Update this blog and my journal faithfully
• Keep my room/house clean
  
• Go to the gym on a regular basis
• Write things down in my planner/ better time management
  
• Cut out all unnecessary stress (ha! we'll see how long this one lasts)
• Embrace the changes in myself and don't simply revert to who I used to be

New Year's was rather uneventful for me- mostly because I kind of missed it. I tried to stay up, but my jet lag got the best of me and I was out by about 9:30. But hey, there's always next year, right?

Going back in time a little bit; I never did write about my trip home. Thankfully, it was rather uneventful. I flew from Trondheim to Amsterdam and then on to London, where I actually went back to Harrow for the night. It was so good to see my English family again, even if only for a few hours. and nice to sleep in my bed again, instead of spending the night in Heathrow. The only down side to this was that I had to get up and be on the 140 bus by 5am to make it back to the airport for my 8:30am flight. Then they couldn't find my ticket info (stupid KLM; never flying with them again). It was a mess. Finally got it sorted out and I was on my way back to Amsterdam and then onto Seattle. It was a long flight, with me leaving Amsterdam at 1:30pm and landing in Seattle at 2:30pm, with almost 10 hours inbetween. And let me tell you, 10 hours is a LONG time to sit next to a very talkative Dutch lady. I now know just about everything about her life. Everytime I thought she was done and I would turn away and put my headphones in, she would tap my shoulder and motion me to take them out again. Ugh. She was nice, but very annoying.
I was so excited to finally land in Seattle; turns out I picked a perfect day to fly in. Sunny, though very cold. And it was so nice to see my mom again. We grabbed my bags and drove straight home. Not only did I pick a perfect day to land in Seattle, but a perfect day to drive over the pass. It closed again the next day, though it was dry and bare for us. It was about 7:30pm WA time when we got home, but 4:30am for me. I was wiped. But I stayed up until Dad came home and then we did Christmas presents right away before I passed out. Unfortunetly I was up at 6am the next morning, because my body thought it was three in the afternoon and time to get my lazy butt outa bed. ugh.
And here it is, a week later and I am still waking up early. at least if I keep this up, it wont be hard to get up for classes!

Christmas part II

I left off on the 26th...Boxing Day to some, Second Christmas Day to the Norwegians.
This time the family came to Grandma and Jan's house, about 20 people in all. Grandma cooked for at least 40. We had a whole extra ham that didn't even get cut into! Good thing I love left-overs! The highlight of this night was the white elephant gift exchange. I started out with a hamburger patty shaper (don't ask) and finished with a big box of chocolate bars, which I was more than happy with, as it just means less for me to buy! It was still kind of hard to be sitting in a room where you don't understand 90% of what is being said, but all in all it was a fun night.

The 27th was another shopping day: returning stuff that didn't fit and buying anything else that I wanted to take home with me. We had dinner at IKEA (such amazing meatballs!) and tried not to think about the fact that I was leaving soon. I spent most of the next day packing (and weighing and repacking and weighing again) and just hanging around the house. We had leftovers and oh, they were just as good. I don't think I will ever tire of turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberries and gravy. One of the best meals ever. Then it was to bed, as we had to leave the house by 10ish to get to the airport in enough time; no sleeping in until noon that day!

My flight went really well, but that is for the next post. All in all, I had a great time in Norway and do not at all regret going, though I did miss my family. Trondheim is a beautiful city and I can see why my grandmother loves it so much there.

God Jul!

So this is long overdue, but you can blame it on being busy with Christmas stuff.
Where to even start...how about with a belated God Jul (happy christmas) to you all!!

The perfect Christmas house, no?


Christmas is a lengthy process here. We started Christmas eve morning by meeting the family (when I say the family I mean Jan's kids and grandkids, the Norwegian family) at Adel's-Jan's first wife- grave. She died about 20 years ago from cancer. They decorate her grave with a christmas wreath and candles and wish her a happy christmas. its very sweet. After that we went to Tommy's (jan's son) for Risgrot and Glugg (rice porridge and a hot punch type drink). It was nice, but not exactly to my taste.
Then we went back to the house for a few hours before church at four. It was a nice service, but entirely in Norwegian, so I didn't understand a thing. But it was also very short, only about a half hour, so it wasn't too bad.
After church we went to Heidi's (jan's daughter) for dinner. It was us three, Heidi's family of 6 and Tommy and his son Dennis. All speaking Norwegian a mile a min and me sitting and staring at my food. I hate not being able to understand. And I always look like the grinch with no sense of humour when everybody laughs at something but me, because I have no idea what was said. Anyways, we ate a wonderful dinner of ribs and then opened gifts. It was nice, at least the part I understood.
Julinessen family

Christmas day opened with Grandma yelling at me to wake up- I remember when I used to wake up the adults, when did that switch?!? But I finally rolled outa bed and opened my stocking. She spoils me rotten, lemme tell ya. I love it.
We got dressed and ready for the day and then went to Nina's (jan's other daughter) for lunch. Basically a repeate of me staring at my food while not understanding what is said around me. Good eats though. After we left there, that was pretty much it for Christmas day. The big party was on the 26th actually, what they call "Second Christmas Day." Grandma started cooking up a storm, as everyone was coming here.

I am exhausted, so will finish this up tomorrow.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Happy shortest day of the year to you all; the sun started to set at 2pm today. Slightly depressing, but thankfully it will only get better from now on.

I am happy to report that after many weeks of awful brown grow-out, I am finally back to being a redhead again. I smell strongly of ammonia, but couldn't be happier- it's even curling nicely!!

At the moment I am sitting in Grandma and Jan's living room watching a massive snow storm outside- its beautiful! And if this keeps up, it looks like I may get my white Christmas after all.[The front of Grandma and Jan's house- though there is much more snow now!]

This afternoon I rode along with Jan and we played the Julenissen (Norwegian version of Father Christmas; basically the Christmas elf) and delivered gifts and doughnuts to Jan's two daughters and grandkids. Doughnuts are a big Christmas treat here and grandma out did herself and made them from scratch. Delicious!

The Julenissen is actually quite fascinating. Unlike Santa Clause, Julenissen can be a spiteful little bugger. He will gladly leave you a Christmas present in exchange for a nice bowl of Christmas porridge, but if the Norwegian kiddies forget to leave him some porridge, he will make their crops fail and their cattle barren. Or worse.

In Norway, you do not screw with the nissen (the Julenissen is simply one of many different kinds of nissen).Still, we should pity the little Christmas dude, because he's being pushed aside by American cultural imperialism, and is turning into the Santa Claus, who is unbearably jolly and whose most interesting sin is leaving lumps of coal lying around. One interesting fact I have learned while being here is that the Norwegian people tend to place most of the blame for Santa on the Coca-Cola company and its Christmas comercials. huh



God Jul (Happy Christmas) to all!

Prepare yourself, this one is a bit whiney

When I first planned this visit to Norway, I thought about how happy it would make my grandma to spend Christmas with her over here. She is always begging us to come visit and it just seemed like perfect timing.
But I did not realise how much it would suck not to spend the holiday at home. This will be my first xmas without my family-ever. I know I complain about them a lot, but Christmas is time for families and I really miss mine. More than I ever thought I would. And not only them, but I miss all the familiar things about home, especially now at Christmas time. I miss how beautiful my house looks all decorated and having a real christmas tree. I miss baking cookies with my mom. I miss all the familiar things and decorations that come out once a year, for all of my years.

And there is snow in the TC! It hardly ever snows in December. Not to mention the snow in Portland and Tacoma too! I hate that I am missing the washington snow. Though there is pleanty of it here, its just not the same.

So as not to finish this out with all my negative nacy-ing let me say this:
Norway is beautiful. I know how blessed I am to be here and who knows how long it will be until I come back. It is also really nice to see my grandma in her reguarl habitat and the chocoalte here is WAY better than in the US. When you see me next, ask if I have any left, I will be happy to share, though I can't promise I won't have eaten it all ;-)