13 December, 2009

sometimes I feel like I am loosing sight of all the people I thought I knew best in this world. Why do people have to change? Or at least, why can't I seem to change along with them? I feel like I am continually the same and am just watching the world change around me.

Where did he go? I don't recognize him half the time anymore. He's hanging out with people he never would have been caught dead with before and whom he has no business spending time around. He's picked up habits he never used to have and says things that sometimes just leave me speechless. I look at him some days and have no idea where he went and who is left in his place.

and it breaks my heart. Can't he see that? Can't he see that he is breaking my heart?

12 December, 2009

baby, it's cold outside

well, the last time I posted was the first weekend of senior year. Now is the last. my how time flies.
This semester was...different. I encountered many things I never thought I would. And am still going through many of them. We've made it through the first part of STF, announced and managed not to kill one another. That in itself is an amazing feat. I am working with Matthew and Bryan on Ted Tally's Terra Nova as dramaturg. Should be quite the experience.

I am learning how to manage my disease and not overload myself. Saying no is hard, but I'm working on it. Gotta keep that stress level to a minimum. Ha. Got through a nasty bout of flu without landing myself in the hospital, still pretty proud of that accomplishment. Still on a wide assortment of medications, but am managing them well. No liver or kidney complications so far!

Worked on four shows so far this year, so that has been keeping me busy. Did lights for both Town Crier and the UT Sketch Show, did props for The Skin of Our Teeth and directed my first show through the Directing Class One-Acts. All went very well, but am glad to have a bit of a rest before STF is in full production swing. I will probably do the sketch show again and may work on IMF but am not doing the mainstage this spring, which is our once-every-four-years musical.

My next big thing (after finals this week) is finishing up my grad school applications. I am applying to arts leadership/admin programmes at The Theatre School at DePaul University in Chicago, IL and the School of Theatre and Dance at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, AL. Both will provide me with a nice culture shock outside of my beloved PWN and have great MFA programmes. It's utterly terrifying to think about next year, and as much as I love being here right now, I'm excited about what my future might hold. The thing most holding me back right now is the thought of all the people I will leave behind here in Tacoma. It breaks my heart to think about not having my beautiful friends around every day. I have been so blessed with the people in my life here.

Though I am doing almost 100% better than before, I still have these massive bouts of missing London. It comes over me in a wave and makes my heart ache. But all this tells me is that I must return someday, I really have no other choice. I left a piece of myself there and must one day go back to reclaim it.

Christmas is nearly upon us once again, and I am excited to spend it with people who speak English this year. I have been baking like mad and got my flat all gussied up with decorations. I'm even looking forward to going home for a week, though am sure will be glad to escape to Portland once New Year's rolls around. I am heading up the 29th or so, to spend Bryan's birthday (the 30th) down there with him and Jenny and then will probably stay around for another week or so before heading back up to Tacoma. I figure that if I am going to pay rent for January, I might as well actually be here. I will spend those two weeks doing intensive research for Terra Nova.

Not too much else to report at this time. Will try and be better about updating this thing, though I doubt anyone reads it anymore.